Tuesday, September 23, 2014

First baby, new life

Dear people who read this :-) I thought, I love to write but I often forget to use my journal. Then I realized I should utilize my blog more, that way others can share this joy, my life, with me. As many of you know, I had a little baby boy about 5 months ago. He was born May 5th, at 8:32 p.m. with a full head of hair! He was only 4 days away from his due date. I first found out I was pregnant in August and made it official the first week of September at the doctors. Some people suggested to me to talk about my experience so here it goes.

I had an ALL-NATURAL childbirth at UCLA Santa Monica Hospital. I did not choose to do it naturally for noble causes at first, my fear is of needles and the idea of the huge epidural needle being plunged into my spine just didn't sit well with me. My husband Josh laughed when we found out I was pregnant and said "now you're going to have to deal with your needle phobia". Boy was he right! My pregnancy was actually not all that bad... I did have morning sickness for the first 4 months, but I found out that fruit was the instigator and once I cut it out, than it was less often. It's funny, when I found out I was pregnant, I was worried about what I could do physically. I'm a long distance runner and since we had just moved to LA (we only lived there for a year), my favorite run was along the beach, from Santa Monica Pier to Venice Beach. Luckily my doctor said running would be fine, as long as I listened to my body and continued to take vitamins and eat.

I ran until I was about 6 months and then it was slow jogging, or slogging, walking, and the occasional elliptical workout. We had a bit of a scare during Micah's 24 week ultrasound (US). It was the structural US where they measure organs and see where you child pars with other babies. While filling out my info in the waiting room, the history sheet asked when my last period was, and I was thinking, heck if I know, I'm just glad it's been gone! Well I entered a guesstimated date and because of that, our perinatal doctor measured, then wouldn't talk and then asked "Has he been kicking, do you feel movement?" Right away I knew something was wrong, "Yes he kicks a ton!". Anyone who felt him while in my belly knows. And the nurse gave me a sad look like "oh she's in denial". The nurse then gave me a fetal movement log sheet and at that point my wonderful amazing husband (being the medical student that he is and was currently doing a Post-Sophomore Pathology Fellowship at UCLA) said "Excuse me but what date did you enter for her Last menstruall period? Because you should probably go off of what her OB has." Sure enough he had put in the wrong date and we endured the first pang of parenthood pain and fear of not being able to do anything. After measuring again, our little guy was still in the 20th percentile for his abdomen size and told me to lessen my exercise and eat more. I did just that which was why I stopped running much.

But all throughout my whole pregnancy I worked as a teacher assistant from 8am-1pm and then I coached cross country in the fall and track/field in the spring 3 days out of the week usually from 3-4:45pm. Then I had race days on a Tuesday usually, which meant I didn't get home until 6:30pm. Whew, those were tough days and mind you all this driving is in LA traffic. I'm glad I stayed on my toes though, I feel it made my experience that much better. Anyone who says they can't do much during their pregnancy (with the exception of those who have severe morning sickness/health issues) needs to buck up. If you get lazy you won't feel good. Get out, move around and give your baby fresh air! Trust me, even when you are puking, it helps to get out. You only get pregnant for 9 months so help you feel the best during this time of stretching :-).

I put pics up of me prego's but the one to the right is one of those days I decided to dress up and feel good,,, I had hit 8 and a half months in both. And I guess technically you do glow sometimes haha. I remember I received that compliment the day I wore that dress. It is a Liz Lang Maternity dress, I love Target, they always have great deals for maternity clothes and the BEST maternity tank tops. So remember you can still feel pretty while looking like a hippo!

Now that I have ranted on about my pregnancy, I will talk about my labor. Just so you know, do not look up stories on google, because they can be horrific and give you anxiety. I did just that and after reading about a woman who blew herself a new butthole, I figured I was done with that. I seriously couldn't sleep that night too, I kept dreaming of terrifying scenarios. As luck would have it, the Lord was gracious and I was only in "real" labor for a few hours. I began feeling contractions Sunday  early morning (they were minimal but kept me up) and by the evening I thought crap I better go to the hospital. And sure enough, we were the kind of couple that freaked out too early and when they checked to see how far dilated I was, I was only at 1cm and I was sent home. For those of you who don't know what a contraction is like, it feels like really bad menstrual cramps... at first. Then, the the waves of pain continue to get uglier until you can't believe that the child is still inside of you and that you still have work to do.

The following Monday, I went about my day with Josh, I even had some frozen yogurt (pretty sure it helped), and my doctor said to wait until I couldn't carry on a conversation because my contractions were so off I couldn't gauge a time-frame. Aside from the yogurt though, I didn't eat much for fear of pooping during the delivery (and no I didn't poop on lil Micah). Finally I couldn't stand it any longer and had to be on my knees bent over the bed before saying "Let's go...now". Thankfully I had packed a labor bag 2 months before so we grabbed what we needed and headed out to the hospital again.

When the nurse checked me around 4:30pm she said I was at 3 cm and that if I wanted to go home I could, but I said no. I had a feeling this was the time for Micah and sure enough when the nurse came back in an hour and a half later, I was at 8cm. Josh was amazing during the whole thing. He held my hand, reminded me to breathe, and would tell me when a contraction was coming by watching the monitor. We prayed like never before and connected on a level of love that cannot be understood unless experienced. And this is why I am glad I had a natural birth, because my husband and I had to depend on each other in a different light, something that pushed us to new limits and new perspectives. God does things for a reason and I feel that childbirth is one way he brings us closer together. Now I did not call the earlier contractions real labor pains because once I felt the labor contractions it was unlike anything I could have ever imagined. The pain pulls and stretches your uterus and you feel as though you just might die and then it climaxes, and you breath and brace yourself for the next wave. I began pushing contractions around 7:00pm and I swear I have never been so sweaty and tired as I was then. I was sweating everywhere and they said I was becoming dehydrated and the nurse had to stick an IV in. Let me tell you, that was not an easy task for me, but I did NOT faint, though I became slightly dizzy. I was definitely proud of myself overcoming that fear and knowing that you can make changes, given the right circumstances to push you.

My water never broke like in the movies, instead they had to use a crochet hook and pop me. Oh my gosh it was so weird, not painful but just weird. My OB grabbed the hook and inserted it and I literally heard a small popping noise and felt like I had jacuzzi water gushing out of me, it was so warm and nice a midst the sweating painful contractions. Then my OB said now you are going to have to get ready to push. When she broke my water, it got real... real fast. By then my modesty shyness had flown out the door and they had me push while on the stirrups. Josh held my hand reminding me to breath and when she said push, I swear someone had grabbed hot coals and lit my vagina on fire. I said in a confused tone "ouch it burns!"... the nurse beside me laughed and said it was the ring of fire. Now I have a new appreciation for that phrase now. Anyways I thought I would give two good pushes but on the second push the nurse suddenly grabbed my leg and motioned for Josh to do the same with the other leg, and pushed them up to my chest and it threw me out of focus and so I had to collect my wits and boom... on the third push I felt excruciating pain for a moment and then he was out and on top of my stomach, A beautiful creation, a child of God, precious, pure, and amazing. He let out a little cry and then the nurse asked if it was ok that they cleaned him up and I said yes. As he was cleaned up, I was being sewn up. And this is the funny part, I assumed the painful part was over until I was being sewn up down there and I screamed "Shicaca"! Josh found it hilarious. Afterwards I was given my son. We named him Micah Joshua, which stands for "Who is God?" and "God is Salvation". The funny part is that we didn't even know that until later and found it quite fitting.

When women say childbirth is the most painful thing ever, they mean it. But the beauty of the matter is that from the pain comes the most heavenly gift you will ever work for. And you can say, this is what I went through for you, I loved you so much that I had you and endured the pain. Oh my gosh and let me tell you, some people are blessed with breastfeeding boobs that flow like crazy, but that was not me. Breastfeeding is really hard, but it is very rewarding and if you stick to it, you will truly be blessed and cherish the quiet moments with your little one and bond together. A bottle just does not have the same effect. But sometimes you can't and I'm not harping on you if you cannot... I only suggest you try hard. So that's my "Having a baby" story. I hope you enjoyed it, because I sure did and now I look at Micah all the time and am baffled that he was in me 5 months ago and I popped him out. Wow.

Dueteronomy 6:5-7 NKJV
"You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up."


Sunday, September 21, 2014

{ The Light of Emalee, the Love of Christ }


{ The Light of Emalee, the Love of Christ }
By Laura Mae Sifuentes

In moments of sweet solitude, I recall our memories shared. Times when going back to them, you are truly there, sensing every detail. Making you smile for the first time with our hands over your eyes, our faces would light up and giggle at the simplicity and fun of it. But best of all was when you would laugh, a loud inhale and squeal that brought the whole house down laughing in unison. You were our baby sister, our little angel, and our family miracle. It was perfect, those moments of love and joy.
Most of all I will never forget your purpose in our lives. We often hear about love from the time we are born, but understanding love, pure and selfless in its most truthful form, is what Christ lived and taught. Emalee did just that. In order to love her, you had to practice selfless love. She was limited in all that she had, a body that could not move by her own will and a voice that could not speak. She never ran into my room to give me a hug and a kiss. She never called to say I miss and love you. She never went on a run with me. She never sang a song with me. Instead, we had to go to her and find her, search for her, and love her all on our own will. If we wanted to watch something downstairs we had to pick her up and bring her down. If we wanted to go out with friends, but couldn’t bring her, than we would have to stay home.

Emalee gave us the greatest gift of all, to love one another without judgment or selfishness. She was what Jesus embodied, she wanted to love us, but we had to come to her first. And though these times are sorrowful, the promise God gives us that we may one day see her beautiful smiling face, in all her perfection, is more comforting than the loss of her body here on earth. His grace is sufficient, and her purpose was to show us the way, the truth, and the life so that one day we may have an opportunity to choose to meet her in heaven.